here we go

I have a student who wants to withdraw .... for some sort of vague transportation reason. There are like 3 classes left??!!?? Next semester I'm carrying a sword instead of a meter stick. Might cut down on the STUPID requests/questions.

There can be only one...

maybe she could be vice president some day...

I am definitely not ready for the test.
I thought it was next week and did not have too much time this week to study for it.
Let me know what I should do.

Um.... study?

I got this e mail at 12:30 am last night. The test was today.

...could not make this up

My latest test had the following question:
Name the three properties of telescopes we discussed and explain why each is important.

Answer: 1) light gathering ability- because without it you can't see shit.

problem is.... he's kind of right. In a drunken fratboy sort of way.

give me the rifle and I'll give them a 200m head start.....

I caught three students working together to cheat on a make up test tonight. ARGH

NOTHING pisses me off more than that.

... the stupid assignment

Ok ok I know I'm fixating on this student BUT. My problem child came up to me today and said "I tried to do the stupid earthquake assignment"....

This may require more self control than I have.

speechless

I have a student who has left me just speechless. She is utterly without... I don't know ... curiosity... I'm just amazed and just sort of taken back. She's been on me all semester about how she doesn't "do" math or tests. By not dong math she means not doing arithmetic I was talking about relative humidity and I wrote 5/10 and got 50% and she stopped me because she didn't understand. (remember I teach COLLEGE) So as the rest of the class groaned I went through the whole thing... feeling like I was teaching 5th grade.
Then yesterday ... she came to me after class to tell me she can't do the writing assignment. I asked her what she thought of the reading associated with the assignment. She said "Oh yeah I read that it was boring I didn't really think anything about it." I was just dumbstruck. How can you read something and not think ANYTHING about it??!!?? hell I think something about the damn phone book when I read it (Look at all those Smiths I wonder why that is?) she just managed to read a 5 page essay on the faith and science as and not think anything about it.

I think the girl has a serious future in politics

where do they learn this?

Over the past couple of semesters I've had a rash of students want to know if they can take the test then retake it if they don't do well?? In what universe is this acceptable? I've also had more than a few students tell me "I don't do well on tests" then look at me expecting something. My response is usually something along the lines of "figure out WHY you don't do well on tests and I'll do what I can to mitigate that but you have to take the tests". I have a feeling high school these days is a bit less... shall we say rigorous than it should be.

End of the semester

ARGGG pressure lots to do little time to do it....






I'm at blueschist, heading to eclogite.
ok that was a VERY bad geologist joke... pretend it was funny

Something nice

I do so much bitching about students that I feel I need to share something nice. I made a small mistake when I wrote my last test for lab. This mistake made one of the problems MUCH harder. Most of my students were on auto pilot and did what I did. They didn't even notice mistake and did the problem what way I intended it to be done. BUT I had a few who noticed the mistake and did the problem as written and GOT IT RIGHT I was so proud of them. (I gave them extra points) it was great to see them take what I taught them and then ramp it up two or three levels.
I'm having one of those Maybe-this-isn't-such-a-bad-way-to-make-a-living moments.

maybe if I carried a sword to class instead of a meter stick....

A real e-mail (the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Hi Paleoprof this is Laaaaaazy Lucy from you class.I was wondering if you could kinda explain to me whats been going on in class this week.And if we have any test after spring break,what do i need to study.I plan to be back in class after spring break.

and the response I didn't send

Dear Laaaaaaazy
Why yes, I'd be happy to give you a weeks worth of lecture in the form of an e-mail. See the attached 22 page document outlining, in great detail, everything we covered in class that I wrote especially for you. What ever you do, do NOT look at the notes, reviews and power points I provided online and assume we picked up where we left off. Under NO circumstances should you look at the book to help fill in any material that is not directly addressed by the notes or you may need extra help with.

You have, somehow, managed to figure out that we are nearing the end this unit. Under NO circumstances should you look at the syllabus that I gave you AND put on line, under the heading of "test dates" to find the date of said test.

I will, of course, continue to take a larger interest in your education than you are. Everything will be fine I promise.

Yours in servitude
Paleoprof

ps. I'm sure your English teacher would be happy to proofread any future e-mails before you send them to me. Just a thought

Been a little exictement around here

So apparently one of our professors (not me) had the Gall (GALL I TELL YOU) to give a student who made an 88 a B. The student tried explaining to him that he was an A student even got his mother to come in and explain that he's an A student but to no avail, the grade remained. So now the student is making threats against the school and the professor. We have cops everywhere but somehow the student still hasn't done anything illegal, apparently we're waiting for him to do something illegal so that he can be arrested.
I'm not a gun nut. In general, I believe that more guns leads, oddly enough, to more gun violence. And I really do NOT believe that having teachers carry guns is a solution to the school violence problem. But in the position we're in right now... of waiting for this person to do something. I'm tempted to want a gun on me.